Failing Life Tests
by tsukikomew
Summary: Elena feels like she's failing one of life's tests. Damon is determined to help his wife through this while trying to keep himself from feeling like a failure himself. Warnings for a bit of sexy fun.


Disclaimer: I'm just playing around with LJ Smith's characters. So I don't own them.

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"It was negative again," Elena confessed to her best friend. "I don't know what we're doing wrong!"

"Maybe nothing," Bonnie offered. The resident doctor-in-training had taken over the bulk of her father's work load since his arthritis had begun acting up two years before. Luckily she had been able to continue her residency at the local hospital while seeing some select patients. Her best friend had been one of them and Bonnie tended to look forward to the appointments for a chance to talk.

"I just don't understand," Elena replied. "We've tried everything and nothing seems to help! I'm giving up hope."

"Don't say that," Bonnie replied "It can take couples a long time to conceive. It's perfectly normal."

"It has been almost two years Bonnie!" Elena cried. "We've tried everything! The boxers, the diet, the vitamins, that damn sex wedge thing, etc.! We've tried everything and nothing works!"

Bonnie grew quiet and watched her best friend tear up and wipe at the stray tears as she wrung her hands. Bonnie knew they'd been trying to have a child for so long but nothing seemed to help them. They'd taken time off from trying the hopes it would lessen the pressure. Still each test was negative while Elena grew more and more depressed. It had gotten so bad Bonnie had considered referring her to a therapist but she knew Elena would not go.

"What if I can't get pregnant?" Elena whispered. "What if it's me?"

"We ran your numbers Elena," Bonnie replied. "Both of you are completely normal."

"Then why Bonnie?!" She asked. "Why can't I pass this one test?"

"It's not a science test Elena," Bonnie laughed. "You can't study for hours and then get a plus sign. It's between the two of you and God."

"But this is a life test!" Elena said. "I can't fail life tests!"

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Across town Elena's husband sat hunched over a stone bench ranting to his best friend. In his hand he grasped a bottle of the cheapest scotch while his head had the beginning tell-tale buzz beginning. He had seen the way Elena had looked that morning when another test came back negative. He had seen the devastation in her eyes and then the steely reserve she had. She had squared her shoulders and turned to make breakfast all while a piece of her died.

"I don't know what to do anymore Ric," he confessed. "Elena is hurting and I can't seem to fix it."

"I know, I know I can't dwell on the fact we haven't been given a child," Damon continued. "It's not anyone's fault and all that but you know what? That's a whole lot of bullshit. I'm her damn husband and it's my job!"

"I promised her I would do anything for her," he said. "I promised her the day she said she loved me I would give her everything she wanted. I would fulfill every little desire if she'd marry me. I'd give her my life and my heart and everything would be happily ever after. What am I supposed to do?"

He grew quiet as he thought back to those times when he had watched Elena with his brother. She had been the perfect woman to him, kind and courageous while damn sexy and completely oblivious to how amazing she was. He remembered watching his brother screw up the relationship while Elena tried desperately to keep him from destroying his life. It had ended the moment she came home to their dingy apartment and found him lying on the floor with his drugs strewn about.

It had taken Damon two years to get her to accept him as her lover. He'd been patient and supportive but she had been against dating for so long he had begun to wonder if anything would ever change. He never had known what it was that changed the way she looked at him because one day he was her friend and the next day he was waking up in her bed in that shitty little apartment.

From there it had been a matter of dating and establishing their wants and desires in the relationship. Elena had supported Damon while he went through school to get his degree in teaching while he had kept her going through her first two years teaching at the local elementary school. Throughout the entirety of that part of their relationship they had never been far apart or separate for longer than the hours of the day. He had moved out of a shared apartment and into her shitty apartment until between them they could afford a little two-bedroom place off the Main Street.

Marriage had come next as it usually did and they had married in a simple ceremony. Between the two orphans they managed to scrounge up a few friends and a couple of distant family members as they recited their vows and pledged themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. Six months later talks of children had arisen and Damon had found himself oddly pleased with the whole concept. Both had a stable job and they were looking at buying a house soon. It seemed only natural to consider children now Elena had tenure.

After nearly two years of trying they were no closer than they'd been at the beginning and the strain was beginning to wear. For a while they'd been able to rationalize by telling themselves it was completely normal. Then it became a little stressful as Elena began feeling like a failure every time they got a negative result. Damon felt no less like a failure every time he watched his wife cry over the result.

Damon had always been tough. He'd been the one who'd dropped out of high school to support his younger brother when his father had died. He'd worked two jobs to keep the boy on the straight and narrow as they attempted to survive in the trailer they'd been left. It had been difficult for them but Damon had been determined his baby brother was going to college even if the two had to hate each other to accomplish it. The last of their money had been spent getting the kid into rehab at the age of nineteen.

To his credit, Stefan was doing much better now he was clean but the damage to his relationship with his brother and ex-girlfriend had been great. Stefan rarely came to visit anymore and had chosen a life of travel writing to escape his haunted past. Damon had understood but it didn't mean it didn't cause disappointment when he realized he had lost the only family he had left. It had taken a few years of being with Elena before he realized family was subjective. She was his now as much as he was hers.

"It's breaking her Ric," Damon confessed suddenly. "I see it in her eyes how much this is killing her and I can't make it better. I can't do anything right."

"And I know what you'd say right now," Damon continued. "You tell me I'm not a failure and to stop feeling sorry for myself. You'd kick my ass and tell me I had the love of a good woman and that's enough for now. You'd tell me to stop hanging here with you and go home to her. You're right as usual."

Damon glanced down at the familiar headstone and slid a shot glass in front of it. He smiled sadly at the stone and wiped a stray tear away before looking towards his car parked nearby. He knew he shouldn't have been wallowing but he needed advice and this was the place to get it.

"I miss you," he whispered. It had been six months since Ric Saltzman had died from a valiant battle with cancer. Damon had been sick with grief over the death when he watched his best friend succumb to something that should never have taken such a bright light. "You gave me clarity and now…well your seat at the bar is still empty out of respect. I won't even let Elena sit there. I'll come back soon Ric."

Damon stood and brushed off the snowflakes from his jacket. He hadn't noticed the snow begin but it was really starting to come down. He glanced back at the headstone before steeling himself for slippery drive home to his wife.

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He found her in the kitchen as he usually did, slaving away over the hot stove as she often complained. He could smell the pot roast and the potatoes as he slid his briefcase to the side of the cabinets. It had been as slippery as he'd expected and it had taken a ridiculous amount of time to make it home. She had sounded strange on the phone when he called to tell her he'd be late but now she seemed normal.

"Smells good," he offered as he wrapped his arms around her. She slid back willingly, relaxing into his embrace. Her eyes were closed as she rested against his shoulder before tilting her face to his. A greeting kiss was usual between them but tonight he felt raw. Tonight after visiting Ric he felt like he needed to celebrate life or something and there was no gentle kiss tonight.

"Mmm…" she mouthed against him as he swept her away from the stove, tilting her towards the uncluttered countertop across the small kitchen. She slid onto the laminate counters gently, wrapping her legs around his hips as he kissed her with abandon. It had been a long time since he'd wanted her for the sake of wanting her and not trying to give her a child. It had been a long time since he'd felt at the end of his rope and needed her to bring him back.

"How long?" he asked as he pressed wet, breathy kisses to her neck. Her fingers curled into his shirt as he found a particularly pleasurable spot near her ear. This was how he liked her, breathless and lost in him.

"Forty-five minutes," she groaned.

"Plenty of time then," he replied against her skin. Her dress was new so he was careful as he tugged the zipper down her back. He had thought he was a breast man at one time but then he saw her back. Her back was so beautiful to him as his fingers glided over each little ridge of her backbone. It was such a strong part of her body as she shouldered responsibility and tried desperately to remain standing and tough. Something about the feel of her smooth skin over her strong body had him reeling. It always had.

She slid to her feet quickly, tugging at his shirt as he pushed her dress to the ground. He thought about her underwear all day when he taught his classes. He knew he'd never have been able to handle it if she had worked at the high school like him with all of those horny teenage boys looking at her. A seven-year old didn't know what to do with her sapphire lace but a seventeen year old would have hopped to catch a glimpse of her olive skin held tightly in her bra and underwear.

He used to have his classroom fantasies when she came to visit him at the end of the day. She wore dresses on Fridays and sometimes she would stand next to him as he graded papers, trying to keep composure as he slid his hand up under the skirt. Her dress would hide what he did to her as he slid her underwear to the side, moving his fingers against his wife in a sinful way. Twice he had her on his desk, knowing it would offer a wonderful memory when the kids stressed him out.

Now she wore pale pink lace under her purple dress. The material slid to the floor as he reached for the front clasp of her bra. Popping the clasp quickly, his hands filled with her as she shredded the last buttons from his shirt. It joined her dress on the floor as the bra tumbled to the counter behind her. Her hands grasped his face as she tugged him to her, opening her mouth to his in a moment of feverish passion.

Recently their lovemaking had become routine, nearly clinical as they each prayed it would lead to a child. This time was going to be different as they struggled for comfort and their desire for each other. Vaguely he recalled her taking him in her arms when they'd gotten word Ric only had a few days left. He remembered the blissful moment of absolute disconnect to the world as she gave him comfort only she could give him. This was another time he strove for that intimacy.

Her skin was soft as he ran his fingers over her legs, delighting in the little shiver of delight as he teased her inner thighs. Her hands rested against his shoulders as her nails bit into his back like little pinpricks as he did something she liked. She moaned when his teeth tugged on her earlobe, a sense of male satisfaction rolling down his spine. Her head thudded against the cabinet door as he cupped one of her breasts, swiping his thumb over the beaded nipple.

Her heel dug into his naked back as he pressed himself against her, delighting in the jolt that went through her body as he swiveled his hips against hers. Her eyes were hooded as she watched him play with her breasts, nipples getting equal attention from her lover. He had always delighted in watching her pleasure tip forward until spilled out, one loud cry followed by a soft whimper as her body would bow.

He could feel her need in her shaking limbs, in her clenched fingers, in the way she gasped as his fingers moved down to tease the band of her underwear. She gripped the counters, white-knuckled; as he dropped down to lick the seam of her underwear. He slid her leg up and over his shoulder as he stared at the tell-tale sign of her excitement, the tangy taste already making its way into the fabric. It ripped in his hands as he unwrapped her from the underwear he knew she'd miss later.

Before she could say a word about the lack of matching underwear he pressed his mouth to her. She made a sound he only heard from her when he did this; a breathy whimper followed by a soft groan. Her heel pushed him forward as he teased her with long licks followed by quick circular motions. He tested her gently, writing his name with his tongue before nibbling her thigh to let her come down a little.

She cried out in frustration. He was the master at denial, twisting her normal need into something dire. He would play with her for the next twenty minutes if she allowed him, drawing her to the brink before taking her just before the timer went off. Just as she went to grasp his hair he returned to her with three purposeful licks before his thumb pressed where she needed him. She reared up as he slid his fingers into her body, stroking until she went rigid in surprise.

When her body felt the first tremor of release he latched onto her, sucking furiously until she screamed. Her body erupted in little tremors as she held him to her, head thrown back and throat hoarse. He chuckled against her as he soothed her for a moment. Weightless she drifted as she heard the distant sound of his belt buckle. To the ground it fell as his pants pooled around his ankles.

Distantly she recognized he was wearing boxers just like she'd asked him. They slid loose and her eyes dropped to something she was well-acquainted. He had her every way she could imagine and her body recognized every part of him intimately. He was wonderfully long, large but not so it was painful. He was perfect for her and she always wondered if he had been made for her whenever he slid into her body.

His sculpted body was something better than she could have ever imagined but it was his hands that drew her attention. She could remember that night he came over to watch a movie when she first slept with him. She had been upset over something trivial and he'd taken her hand. As his fingers wove with hers she had been overcome with a feeling of absolute acceptance and love. He had looked at her with those beautiful, blue eyes and asked her if she was okay. She had taken him to bed that night and never looked back.

She was jolted to the present as his body pressed deeply against hers, gathering her close in only a way a lover could. His hair, masculine and slightly rough, tickled her thighs as she wrapped her legs around him. There was something primitive about feeling her lover's hair their where so few could touch. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he moved in to kiss her, sliding against her slowly and setting fire to her sensitive skin. His hands grasped her hips for a moment, tilting her towards him until she was in the perfect position to receive the pleasure he wished to give her.

His mouth was insistent against her skin as he began to move. He coaxed every bit of pleasure out of her as his hands touched her breasts, stroking the sensitive undersides gently before his nails scratched down over her back to cup her behind. His hands lifted her slightly as she rode the first waves of pleasure, foreshadowing the eventual conclusion.

Powerfully, he took her until she bit his shoulder in perfect pleasure. The pressure built between them as they strove for that golden release, that moment when they could have a moment as Damon and Elena without stress and pressures from their wishes or the world around them. Dimly he heard the one minute warning on the timer as he moved quicker, losing his grace as she tightened around him.

She pressed a soft kiss to his neck as she snuggled him as he continued to move, smiling at her. The release came suddenly, the tightening loosening until that momentary flash of white took over his eyes in the moment of complete contentment. They tumbled to the floor in a heap, his body still tightly coiled against her. The timer dinged loudly and she grumbled for a moment. Reaching up he turned the oven off before wrapping her tightly in his arms.

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Six weeks later found Damon lying in bed with a box of tissues to his left, a trash can to his right, and a packet of medicine on the night table beside his head. The television blared something about the perfect pancake pan which cleaned effortlessly as a coughing fit overtook him. His third day missing school was the hardest yet as his boredom was driving him up a wall. He knew he should have gotten that flu shot back in October but he'd been busy with other things and now he paid the price.

He was tired of sleeping and tired of rushing to the bathroom to vomit but it was his cross to bear. To her credit, Elena was taking care of him with little complaint as she came home during lunch to check on him. She had been different since that night six weeks ago. He couldn't pinpoint it exactly but after that night she had stopped pressuring to have a child. She had mentioned putting it on hold again since she had been offered an opportunity to pursue some additional training.

He had been oddly pleased with the turn of events and had taken to enjoying those quiet nights at home when they went back to making love wherever and whenever they felt like it. Their house search had taken a positive turn as they discovered a small house near the school which was on the market. The owners had been friends of her parents and owned their house outright. Upon hearing of Damon and Elena's search they had offered them first shot at the house. While in need of some minor upgrades and repairs, the house was perfect for them and an offer had been made.

He had seen the wistful look in her eyes when the realtor explained the third bedroom was the perfect size for a nursery. He had seen the look die quietly as she commented it could be used as an office too. While he was okay with taking a break from trying to have a child he hadn't wanted her to give up.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she bustled in from the cold. Her hair was mussed from the cold wind, her coat covered in snow as she kicked her snow boots off. In one hand she held a bag containing what looked like soup from the Grill and in the other she had a small brown paper bag.

"Fine," he replied after blowing his nose loudly. "I want this to go away."

"I know," she said as she sat down on the bed. She kissed his forehead gently and grabbed the thermometer from the night table. He grimaced as she popped it in his mouth, waiting for the obligatory beep. When it sounded she swiped it from under his tongue and held it up. "99.2…not bad."

"Can I go back to school yet?" he whined.

"Monday," she replied. "One more day and the weekend then you can go back."

"But Elena!" he whined. "I'm bored and lonely. I want to play with you."

"You played with me last night and fell asleep," she replied. "If you are going to start things then you damn sight better finish them. I'm not going into the bathroom with our vibrator again. While it does the job, it's not you."

"I'm too tired to get excited over that image," he said with a sigh. "Soup?"

"Yep," she answered. She tugged the container out of the bag and offered it to him, pulling a spoon out of the bag with a packet of napkins. "It's chicken noodle. Mary made it special for you when I called yesterday. She expects your participation in setting up the Memorial Day decorations."

"That's months off," he whined. "She has four sons! Why can't they help?"

"Because apparently you are the perfect eye candy for an aging woman," Elena replied with a smile. "I was reminded how lucky I am to have snagged you."

"Yeah?" he asked as he reached for a tissue. "I'm sure I'm the picture of hotness right now."

"You always look hot to me," she replied. "Now I have to pee." He watched her go into the small master bath, pulling the door shut behind her. He threw himself back against the pillows and glanced out at the snow piling up on the window ledge. His phone dinged and he reached for it clicking through the text alerting him of the early school closings.

The soup smelled amazing and he began to eat, savoring the little bits of chicken in the homemade soup. The noodles were homemade too and he loved them with the kind of respect only another cook could have. He thought fondly of the last time he'd made pasta for him and Elena nearly four months before. It was too time consuming to do it regularly. In fact if memory served, they had some frozen in the freezer.

He flipped channels for another minute or two before glancing back at the bathroom. What the hell was she doing in there? He finally grumbled about, tugging a robe on as he padded to the door, nearly knocking. He heard her crying and pushed the door open, rushing forward when he caught sight of her hunched on the floor.

"What is it?" he asked worriedly as he tugged her into his arms. She slid into them quickly, burying her face against his chest. He looked around quickly and his eyes landed on a familiar pregnancy test box. It was ripped open savagely and he reached for it, noting the missing test. "Baby you promised not to take these alone anymore."

"I'm sorry," she cried. "I just didn't want to bother you."

"I thought we were taking a break," he explained. "I hate to see you like this."

"Damon," she cried. "Damon there's a plus."

"We'll try again soon," he answered. "Wait! A plus?"

She held up the little test and showed him on the front. The box contained a little red plus instead of the usual. She looked up at him and smiled and then hugged him tightly. He held the test in his hand and reached for the box for confirmation. The little plus meant positive. They were…pregnant.

"I've been feeling strange," she said softly. "I was getting sick at school and I didn't get my period. I…I wanted to give it enough time but today I was throwing up at school so I called Bonnie. She told me to buy one and if it was positive to come in tomorrow."

"Elena," he murmured. "We're…lord!"

"I passed this test sucker!" she squealed. "We're going to have a baby!"

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I could not get this out of my head. I'll probably post "His" later.

Thanks guys!


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